i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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