Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
