Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
