You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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