and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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