You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
