You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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