Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize