Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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