we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
