I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Randomize
