I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
