is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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