...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
