call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
