508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
