Non-Jews are for practice
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
