the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
