yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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