She's JV to your varsity
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
