just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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