i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
