Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I party with great urgency now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
