Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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