You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
well most of my day revolves around power hour
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
