So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
