Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
