I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
