what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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