This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
