She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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