This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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