Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My hand turned me down
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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