Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
