Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
