Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize