you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
