Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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