I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
