But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
