Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
