I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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