So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
