She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
