she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
