my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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