btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
