on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
