he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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