when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
