I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
