We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
