I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
