Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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