i love accidental penises.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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