Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize