My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
