she was so not down for the gang bang
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
this hospital has no fireball
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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